what I know for sure

If you invite 10 people and make food for 20, you will have a lot of leftovers.

If you let kids watch TV unmonitored, they will eventually find the inappropriate channels.

Firemen are hunky.

The shortest distance between A and B is a straight line.

I don't care how comfortable they are, Crocs are not cool (the shoes, not the animal).

People look to the side when they're lying. Up or down, too, sometimes. Just not directly in your eyes.

Bees like barbecues. Flies do too.

Don't wear socks with flip flops. Ever.

If you marry your best friend, you will have no one to bitch to about your marriage.

On a similar note, the seven year itch is not just a movie.

Numbers don't lie. People who tell you the numbers, however, can twist them any which way they want.

You can correct a red-eye in a photograph, but there's not much you can do about someone blinking.

We're all going to die.

Only water can properly quench a thirst .

If you keep spreading malevolence, you shouldn't be surprised when some of it comes back and splatters you.

Dogs like to lick themselves.

You cannot unsay something.

Having a kid changes everything.

Love is better than hate, but it is more fattening.

The sound of waves is the best sleeping pill.

If you talk about someone behind their back, it will come back and bite you in the ass.

Short-term and long-term goals are a good idea. Medium-term goals get a bad rap.

Pearls class up any outfit.

If you are OCD, don't volunteer to clean someone else's house.

Gravity is more powerful than your willpower.

On a related note, don't mess with anything that begins with "grave".

Having money is a good thing, until you start losing some of it.

Metrosexual doesn't mean homosexual.

Measure twice and cut once.

The movie business is very fickle.


Move over Oprah, you're not the only one with hard-earned wisdom.

What do you know for sure?