Monday, May 9, 2011

90210 to the rescue

Let’s see: I have just been told that once turning 40 came and went, my bathroom started running out of jar-space. (Dear Husband, so what! You’re losing your hair in all the wrong places and don’t think I didn’t notice and who do you think you're fooling?). As much as I hate to admit that it's a-comin', each day, I look a little bit more like my mother (the way she looks now at 70, not back when she was my age, I wish! she was actually quite hot then).

Let’s face it: it’s straight downhill from here on out. Free fall!

90210 to the rescue.

My very close proximity to Beverly Hills (the plastic surgery capital of the world) coupled with my obvious and rapid disintegration, despite my valiant efforts to fight the ravages of time, made the question of tweaking here and there (and there, there, there and let’s not forgot there) almost inevitable. Nope, all the intellectual bravado in the world amounts to nothing when one is confronted with the telltale dimples of stored fat or worse, the relentless pull of gravity. Yikes.

I said: Don’t touch my face; I don’t want to wear the same quizzical expression for the rest of my life. Plus I like to blink now and then. They can do whatever they want on my body: tuck me, suck me, vacuum my cellulite, pull my stretch marks up or down, even sideways if they are so inclined, pick up my boobs off the floor and put them where I can see’em, leaving zig zag trails everywhere, as long as I can hide the scars under a bikini, I’m fine. I am clothed most of the time anyway, so if a little nip and tuck, even a relatively mediocre one, is going to make me look better (in my clothes), just tell me where to sign up. 

She said: Who cares about the body? The body you were born with is genetically fraught with problems, and it will only get worse with time… there is nothing you can do about it and even if you can, who cares! The face is where it’s at. That’s what people look at first, that’s what they look at the longest. Think of yourself as a business and treat your face as your operating cost. You present it to your clients, it represents you, and it has to look its best. So spare no money or effort to maintain this invaluable asset.

What do you say?


At 5/9/11, 11:17 AM , Blogger annie said...

i say, go for it, sistah!!

At 5/9/11, 11:41 AM , Blogger laurie said...

the face can make you or break you...i say just make sure the permanent expression you'll be forced to wear is easy on the eyes and you're golden!

At 5/9/11, 7:58 PM , Blogger Nora said...

The French would side with you: they believe in the "silhouette" (slim, nice posture, elegant clothes).
Why not go for both - nice body, subtly highlighted/lowlighted hair, dicreetely pampered skin?
Of course there's the option of growing old gracefully.....

At 5/9/11, 9:25 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

I'm okay with pampered skin, it's having a Joan Rivers face that I have a problem with.

At 3/29/12, 6:09 AM , Blogger Karen said...

Oh I know what you mean about looking like Mom. I see it more in photos than I do the mirror. When did we start getting old? I don't know if I'd ever have any work done though.

At 3/29/12, 8:29 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

I dunno Karen, it sorta creeped out on me. One day I was experimenting/fussing with my hair color lah-dee-la-la-la, should I go auburn or dirty blonde highlights? The next day I realized I HAVE to color the grey, anything, any color just to cover the grey. It stopped being fun.

But if the technology is there to help ease the pain, why not?


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