Saturday, June 2, 2012

counter-logic does not an alternative style make

I guest-wrote this for another blog. And I was just gonna let it be. But after she made a big point of correcting my typo of her name in a private email, she went ahead and typed my name wrong, on the published post. So any ethical qualms I may have felt about letting her have my piece all to herself were quashed, right there and then. 

Before you jump to the conclusion that I'm a big meanie, read the post... it's ironic that it happened this way, considering the topic.

I am all about empowering parents to make their own choices and I am all for women not judging other women on their mothering abilities or limitations. I am a firm believer in democracy and the power of an engaged citizenry. I am a card carrying member of the freedom of speech and would fight for anyone’s right to spew inanities, if they so wish. Because I am not perfect, as a parent or as a woman, because the alternative is not acceptable, and because I can easily stop listening or change the channel on my TV.

I can see the grey area in any argument, provided it is reasonably posited and backed with supporting facts. I may lean for or against a piece of argument, based on my own personal preference and past experience, but I don’t know everything, so I’m genuinely open to hearing your side.

But, there are some things, in parenting, politics and life in general, that are simply common sense. Touting counter-logic as an alternative lifestyle choice will simply not fly.

Allow me to demonstrate:
  • If you teach your children that hitting is bad, then turn around and use spanking to discipline them, don’t be surprised that your non-violent stand is not sticking. Children learn vicariously through the adults who influence them. It’s do as I do, not do as I say.
  • If you want to extol the virtues of extended breastfeeding because it is a private choice, then don’t pose for the cover of a magazine with your boob in your 3-4 year-old’s mouth. It’s incongruent at best. You can have private or you can have public, you can’t have both; I’m afraid they are mutually exclusive.
  • By the same token, if you want to sell magazines for their content, don’t put a questionable photo on its cover and flank it with a confrontational question, then wonder why no one is taking your content seriously.
  • If you are discontent with the divisiveness of the political discourse around you, starting a sentence with “you people” will not really demonstrate the opposite, will it?
  • If you run for political office, your political voting record and your past political positions are part of your platform, whether you like it or not. You cannot pick and choose which ones you can list on your current resumé.
  • And by the same token, if you promise something, publically, and garner support for and because of it, don’t be surprised when you are expected to deliver on that promise. Sticking your head in the sand and playing ostrich will not get you off the hook.
  • (added) If you chastise others for misspelling your name, don't be surprised that they get pissed off when you turn around and misspell theirs.

So there you have it, folks: Cognitive dissonance, be it in parenting, politics, or life in general, is not persuasive. Period.

How do you like them apples? What inconsistencies peeve you?

Under construction: The name of this blog is being changed to Megan Blogs (thanks to the advice of people much smarter than me). Please bear with me during the rehauling process. I'm assured the mess will eventually make way for a much tidier digital experience both for you and for me.


At 6/2/12, 12:36 PM , Anonymous Susi said...

Great post. I so agree with you. I have had a similar thing happen to me. :) Have a good weekend.

At 6/2/12, 7:49 PM , Anonymous April said...

I hesitate to teach my child that hitting is wrong. I had that ingrained in me when I was a kid and one day I found myself in danger and couldn't react because good people don't hit. So mostly I tell him that we don't hit our friends and people we love (and who love us); instead, we use duct tape and basements.

That last part is a joke!

(What I actually tell him is that we only hit in self-defense: when our lives or the lives of people we love are in danger and we have to protect.)

I think I'm derailing your post. My apologies. I should probably get some sleep!

At 6/2/12, 8:31 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks Susi :) I wonder if it's the same person...

At 6/2/12, 8:43 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

LOL I don't have a basement but I did buy a whole lotta duct tape for that rapture last year....

At 6/3/12, 12:32 AM , Blogger Blueberry Pancake Publishing said...

Rant on sista! A mistake is one thing but you can't fix stupid. I've learned in my life I just don't have time to be around people like that. Smile and move on:) We ARE skyping this week :)

At 6/3/12, 8:37 AM , Blogger Hilary said...

Great post, great points!

At 6/3/12, 10:13 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

LOL So I shouldn't feel so bad about burning the bridges, huh?
We SHALL skype, Lisa, come hell or high water (though hopefully, neither)!

At 6/3/12, 10:14 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks, Hilary :)

At 6/3/12, 9:58 PM , Blogger Plant Seeds of Happiness said...


At 6/3/12, 10:17 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

Hey thanks Janice :) I don't like double-standards, never have.

At 6/4/12, 7:52 AM , Blogger Beckey said...

Oh Megan... don't get me started... seriously.
HOwever, in the spirit.. I feel that extended breastfeeding is a "personal" choice, not a "private" choice.

But, I do think if you are going to do something you KNOW is controversial in such a public forum you have to expect just that - controversy. Which is going to include negative feedback.

The biggest conflict I saw with the cover was that the article was about "ATTACHMENT parenting", yet when looking at the picture I felt no emotional attachment between the parent and child whatsoever.

Ah... the phrase "you people". Is there anything more devisive than those two words?

At 6/4/12, 8:38 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

I hear you. I like your distinction of personal instead of private.

I'm not a big proponent of extended breastfeeding, and seeing it blasted on the cover of a magazine does not make a convert out of me. It takes thoughtful discourse to change minds, that's all I'm saying.


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